A DAY THAT WILL LIVE IN INFAMY!!

“That’s the day that you quit regular exercise, in part or in whole!!!” “Although the Road-to-Ruin will be long, you will feel Ambushed!!” “Your Countenance will be Sunk!!” “Your Optimism will Crash-and-Burn!!” “Don’t be a Sitting Duck!!” “Rebuilding, while possible, Takes Time!!”  Paid for by a grant from the University of Contrology, Bryn Mawr, PA

TENSION DEFICIT DISORDER?

Yes, guys, the message has been clear for some time now! If you ever get bullied by a bigger fella, you get to kick the crap out of him!! (If you’re able to.) All you have to do is work-out hard for a straight year (or two) and you’ll be ready to hit the beach again…..with… continue reading

SKYROCKETS IN FLIGHT!

AFTERNOON DELIGHT!!! Missed your MORNING work-out? Feeling SLUGGISH as a result? Well, there’s GOOD NEWS!! The AFTERNOON is just around the CORNER!! YOU don’t have to MISS OUT!! You can EVEN wait until EVENING!! But WAIT until after PILATES to begin getting LOOSE!! (EXERCISE RESPONSIBLY. Please don’t DRINK and DOWNSTRETCH.) Paid for by a grant… continue reading

STARTING TODAY!

There’s NO TIME like NOW TIME!! Your body NEEDS YOU!! Neglect is NOT an option!! EVERY man (or woman) for himself (or herself)!! Look to the FUTURE!! The battle is CONSTANT!! And FIERCE!! JustREMEMBER!! WE CAN DO IT!! Paid for by a grant from the University of Contrology, Bryn Mawr, PA

WHY IS THIS WOMAN SMILING?

“Meet Betty.” “Until very recently, her husband neglected his physical health.” “He allowed the effects of life to be accelerated by the AGING PROCESS!!” “Tired of feeling lackluster around the house, Bob made a crucial life-choice!!” “He accepted CONTROLOGY as his true preventative and restorative tonic!!” “Now a spring is back in his step!!” “A violent… continue reading