WHY IS THIS WOMAN SMILING?

“Meet Betty.” “Until very recently, her husband neglected his physical health.” “He allowed the effects of life to be accelerated by the AGING PROCESS!!” “Tired of feeling lackluster around the house, Bob made a crucial life-choice!!” “He accepted CONTROLOGY as his true preventative and restorative tonic!!” “Now a spring is back in his step!!” “A violent… continue reading

THE BEST PART OF WAKING UP

IS PILATES IN YOUR CUP! “A nice strong cup of JOE is a tried-and-true METHOD for the commencing of  YOUR day!!” “Kick-start YOUR morning like JOE did EVERY morning!!” “A (very) brisk run, followed by some very solid METHOD et, voila!!” “Hardest part of the day OVER!!!!” Paid for by a grant from the University of… continue reading

Phonin’ it in?

STUDENTS: You are learning The Method! This requires your undivided attention! Give it to your Mentor! And, Yourself!! – INSTRUCTORS: You have learned The Method! This demands your undivided attention! Show it to your Disciple! And, Others!! Paid for by a grant from the University of Contrology, Bryn Mawr, PA

Reform[er] school drop-outs!

“Coming soon to a (1950’s) theater near you!” “It’s a cautionary tale of the woe that inevitably befalls the troubled DROP-OUT!” “Faced with the choice between excellent health and needless accelerated aging, our star-crossed subjects choose to NEGLECT their physiques on a DAILY BASIS!” “You will be SHOCKED at the lethargy!!” “SPELL-BOUND by the lack of… continue reading